You might not have a bird or a guy on your arm, but plan on going to some kind of Valentine's party where you might see someone you fancy, you might talk to him/her and hit-it-off and the rest could be history as they say. You might be thinking there will be lots of lonely hearts on this day that just want a one-night-stand or see it as your chance to show you're a real ladies man and ask out that girl you have been eyeing up for months in your office.

You could be happily married or engaged and plan a candle-lit dinner with your fiancée or even thinking that you have been going out with each other for a long time now and it's time to get down on one knee and then propose to your girlfriend and hope she says yes and then becomes your fiancee.

It's possible you're in a loveless relationship, and you're running off to your bit on the side. The affair you've been having for 6 months will no doubt be enjoyable, but how long before your other half finds out you have been cheating on them.

Just like the film, you might have friends with benefits and because your relationship is no-strings attached in the bedroom department you won't need to go to the gym tomorrow night to exercise.

February 14th could be a date you wish to forget as you split up with your girlfriend/boyfriend or even crueller they dump you by txt message.... brutal! But it could be a date to remember as that chat up line you have used in the past finally works as you think you have found the one. It's likely this date could be the date you make up and get back together with your partner which will no doubt involve a night of rumpy-pumpy.

You might want to go out and party, but your yin to your yang doesn't want to and because you are under the thumb and she wears the trousers in the relations you'll just stay in with Netflix (and chill... if you're lucky)

And of course, you may just want to stay at home, be alone, and beat your meat / flick your bean in peace without the hassle of spending any money or being around lovesick people

Whatever you do, enjoy and be safe

Word List
to be a different story – something completely different. Example: Monday was good, but Tuesday was a different story
missus – another word for wife/girlfriend Example: I have to help the missus
bird – another word for girlfriend. Example: My bird likes that restaurant
to fancy someone – someone you find attractive. Example: She fancies Brad Pitt
to hit-it-off with someone – when you instantly have a good relationship with someone. Example: They hit-it-off as soon as they met. 
lonely hearts – a person seeking a partner or lover by advertising
one-night-stand – meeting someone and then having sex with no intention of a relationship. Example: It wasn't serious, just a one-night-stand
a ladies man – a man who enjoys the company of women and knows how to treat them well. Example: He's a real ladies man, always with a new girl every time I see him.
to ask someone out - when you invite someone for dinner, a drink, or to do something in a romantic way. Example: James asked her out and she said yes. They are going to the cinema.
to eye up someone - to watch and look at someone with pleasure. Example: That guy in the black hat is eyeing you up
to be engaged - your status before you get married Example: I'm sorry, I'm engaged
a candle-lit dinner - a romantic meal, usually with candles. Example: It was so romantic we have a candle-lit dinner overlooking the sea
fiancée - the man or woman you are going to get married to Example: This is my fiancee, Sasha
to go out with someone - to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Example: Sam is going out with Christina
to get down on one knee - the action the man usually does before he asks a girl to marry him. Example: It was great, but he didn't get down on one knee
to propose to someone - to ask someone to marry you. Example: She proposed to him because she thought he would never ask her
a loveless relationship - without love or passion
to run off - to escape something. Example: After she told me she loved me I ran off
bit on the side - someone you are in a not serious relationship with that your wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend doesn't know about. Example: I'm sure his receptionist is also his bit on the side
an affair - a relationship that is serious that your wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend doesn't know about that has been happening for a long time. Example: He had an affair for three years before he told his wife
your other half - your girl/boyfriend/wife/husband. Example: This is James, my other half.
to cheat on someone - when you are in a relationship and you have sex with another person. Example: Peter cheated on Dasha with three different girls
friends with benefits - a friend of the opposite gender who you have casual sex with
no-strings attached - when both people know there is nothing more to the relation than having sex.
to split up with someone - when a relationship ends. Example: She was crying all morning because she split up with John
to dump someone - when one person in a relationship decides to end the relationship. Example: She dumped him when he was in hospital! Heartless bitch!
a chat up line - a silly sentence made to impress a girl and compliment them. Example: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? No, why? Because you have a sweet ass
the one - person who was made for you. Example: She is the one, I'm sure!
rumpy-pumpy - a humours way of saying sex Example: My neighbour upstairs is always having rumpy-pumpy
under the thumb - a man who is under control of his girlfriend/wife. Example: He's not coming to watch the football, he's under the thumb
to wear the trousers in a relationship - the person who makes all the decisions Example: You'll need to speak to my wife, she wears the trousers in our relationship.
to beat your meat - male masturbation
to flick your bean - female masturbation
lovesick - someone who is madly in love or really missing one.. Example: He's been on the phone for 3 hours. He's a teenager, he's lovesick.


Cheers
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